Reality Television

I hate reality television programmes: Big Brother, I’m a Celebrity…, Can’t Cook…, house makeover programmes, house selling programmes, gardening nonsense; but, most of all, I hate the endless bloody karaoke – it’s all bollocks.

If somebody wants to tell me that that’s just my opinion and that other people enjoy them, just shut up. Bugger off and die of something easily preventable, you vacuous imbecile.

Television is supposed to either educate or entertain and, with few exceptions, it does neither. As far as I’m concerned, they can broadcast for four hours a week and then just shut down – save all that wasted energy and money. Once again, if anyone disagrees, I’m not interested – go and debate it with someone who might respect your opinion.

And this leads me to the people I want to exterminate: the audience. It’s bad enough that all this dross is on, marketing plastic celebrities masquerading as entertainment, but some of the viewers then go on to discuss the programme as if a) it were real and b) it mattered. Shut up. Shut the hell up and go away and die somewhere. It’s not interesting and you make me wish I was deaf. “Oh, but the audition rounds are funny.” No they’re not. It’s all fake. It’s all manipulated. It’s contrived to draw you in and you suck on the bait and get addicted. Idiots. Is this the pinnacle of human achievement, that we sit around watching each other, that people are prepared to humiliate themselves in front of thousands upon thousands of people in the vain hope that they might become a celebrity or sing one shamefully forgettable record? Is this what the human struggle was all about? Darwin must be spinning in his fucking grave.

For the most part, television is a financial transaction whereby media companies pay you the lowest possible entertainment prices in exchange for your time, which they then sell on at a higher price in smaller units to advertisers. Every time you see an advertisement, that’s a television company selling minutes of your life to a corporate sponsor who is hyping products which you neither want nor need.

Then, to add insult to injury, you are being charged additionally to vote on some formulaic faux-reality, the upshot of which will be used to try to extract further from you in the future, either in terms of marketing some singer or promoting some other ‘celeb’ who will be used to draw further minutes from your life into the corporate machine. The hype has nothing behind it but more hype – we have reached the stage in our society where there is only the façade remaining and it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.

That this will happen is entirely predictable and almost inevitable, but to screech about it like chimps throwing their faeces from the floor of their cage is simply inexcusable. Shut up.

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About Fles

Early middle-aged (oh yes I am!), no longer long-haired but still speccy and decidedly still an increasingly opinionated git. I’m basically a believer in individualism, that everybody has their own perspective and inner-beauty. I try to find humour in every situation. I enjoy reading and writing poetry.
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6 Responses to Reality Television

  1. Brit Miller says:

    I never once thought that my hatred of reality television could be conveyed in words, but it just has.

    • You write as if our minds have been completely taken over by the GO COMPARE! corporations. If that were remotely were you injured in an accident at home or work that wasn’t your fault? true, that we had somehow been penetrated with malcolm! get us some peanuts! moronic advertising slogans through some kind of cerebral osmosis, then wouldn’t this a great deal easier! be manifested in we’ve been bringing you great deals for 25 years some way?

  2. Simon Miller says:

    “Go away and die” was probably the pinnacle of that statement.
    Every point executed , i think you should have your own TV program.
    (Ironic i know).

  3. 3 inches says:

    “Then, to add insult to injury, you are being charged additionally to vote on some formulaic faux-reality”.

    And in addition, if you live in Britain or Ireland, you have to pay for just tuning in to watch the fucking show.

  4. SimonLomas says:

    Fantastic grammar.

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